My body continued to show many signs that I was in labor, and then contractions would stop. There is a name for this kind of labor but I can't remember (prodromal labor). On Friday, May 8th I went to my midwife appointment feeling like things might be nearing the end (in pregnancy that is). I chose not to be checked since I had a long drive home with four kids and I didn't want to chance going into full blown labor while trying to manage traffic.
Saturday morning arrived. Caleb advised that I call the midwife team. So I did. They came at 4pm in the afternoon while I was having irregular contractions but those contractions were good ones because I was 8cm when they got here! After a couple hours of walking around, eating dinner and roasted marshmallows, climbing stairs, I was checked and fully dilated. But still no desire to push and no regular contractions.
On the toilet I went. When the first tricky contraction came I knew it would be REALLY fast. I had no desire to have the baby in our nasty looking bright green bathroom so I walked over the my bed where the team was waiting there. I stood at the side of my bed and crouched down with each pushing contraction. As I felt a head come, everything in me wanted it to stop but I made a choice to use all power to push our baby out. My mind was so focused that I had no idea where anyone was. Caleb later told me that he was right there next to me but I have no remembrance of that. So I pushed my baby out standing near the bed and my midwife immediately gave her to me. I was so surprised that she was a girl!
I am so blessed to be given another wonderful birth experience. God clearly told me to just TRUST as I had doubts when contractions were not regular. He was in my home and planned every moment from start to finish.
Ariane Nasia Lange is her name. And we love her.
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Our New Life
How does one begin a birth story? At conception? At 20 week gestation? At the first knowings of the beginning of labor? After all, God himself had this life planned since the very beginning of time. And I stood on that while some wondered why on earth would I welcome another baby after having four prior in a short time. I don't have to defend myself and point out scripture and go deep down into why I believe my sweet butterball squishy girl was meant to be because I know without a shadow of a doubt that she always was.
God planted this peanut into my womb before we even moved and we kept it between husband and wife for sometime. We wanted to keep our news to ourselves for a bit and share when led (and obviously when people saw some growth happening!).
The pregnancy went so well with some struggles towards the end. At 30ish weeks the itching started and grew very strong. It was determined that I had PUPPS and was only going to go away after the baby was delivered. There were long nights of physical discomfort and frustration when I didn't even know how to pray. I had to make a decision to thank God for this baby when the itching was unbearable. This season was the start of an amazing lesson of what God really means when he says that joy comes after thanksgiving.
I decided not to really look to my due date as fact. Especially since all my children have been 10 days or more past that set date. But as that "date" approached, my body began to give signs that baby would come maybe before the 10-days-late day. We suspected that this one was a boy for a few reasons. Midwives, siblings, and parents all called baby "he" while I thought of potential boy names.
(To be completed when baby snoozes and others are occupied...)
God planted this peanut into my womb before we even moved and we kept it between husband and wife for sometime. We wanted to keep our news to ourselves for a bit and share when led (and obviously when people saw some growth happening!).
The pregnancy went so well with some struggles towards the end. At 30ish weeks the itching started and grew very strong. It was determined that I had PUPPS and was only going to go away after the baby was delivered. There were long nights of physical discomfort and frustration when I didn't even know how to pray. I had to make a decision to thank God for this baby when the itching was unbearable. This season was the start of an amazing lesson of what God really means when he says that joy comes after thanksgiving.
I decided not to really look to my due date as fact. Especially since all my children have been 10 days or more past that set date. But as that "date" approached, my body began to give signs that baby would come maybe before the 10-days-late day. We suspected that this one was a boy for a few reasons. Midwives, siblings, and parents all called baby "he" while I thought of potential boy names.
(To be completed when baby snoozes and others are occupied...)
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
And it goes on
And then one July day, an offer was made on the house. One that would ensure a break even walk away (not counting all the repairs and upgrades!). Our Realtor was skeptical that the appraisal would back the offer up. "It doesn't mean anything if the appraisal doesn't match...". Glorious. Just glorious. I was told to get the kids out of the house when the lady came to see how much our house was worth. But I stayed. I'm glad that I did. When she said "If you had an air conditioner in that top bedroom, then I could count it..." I was there to tell her where it was. The appraisal went through!
It was July 4th weekend and we needed to find a place to live in Fredericksburg. We searched that weekend and put in an offer on a dumpy foreclosure (and won!). Oh it needed lots of work and smelled of cigarettes but we are young and love to see potential.
The sale on the Richmond house was smooth and went through the first week of August. The backlog on our new house was weeks away.
We would be homeless for a month (so we thought!) but some great friends stepped up, laid down their lives, and welcomed us in. We each have four kids to our name, 8 combined. We chipped in with meals and made it work wonderfully and can still say that we're friends today! Our friends really showed us what it means to sacrifice to help others. To go outside of their comfort zone to help (love) a neighbor.
So one month turned into three. The government is not known for being quick with paperwork that's for sure! On Oct. 3rd, we closed and had the open door to start working on our new "smoke house".
The kids helped us rip up nasty carpet and pull thousands of staples.
Wall paper coming down in the dining room and kitchen.
We all worked HARD to make the new place "livable"
This is how we lived for a few weeks. But looking back, it really was a short season.
So glad this guy is the handiest thing ever!
It was July 4th weekend and we needed to find a place to live in Fredericksburg. We searched that weekend and put in an offer on a dumpy foreclosure (and won!). Oh it needed lots of work and smelled of cigarettes but we are young and love to see potential.
The sale on the Richmond house was smooth and went through the first week of August. The backlog on our new house was weeks away.
We would be homeless for a month (so we thought!) but some great friends stepped up, laid down their lives, and welcomed us in. We each have four kids to our name, 8 combined. We chipped in with meals and made it work wonderfully and can still say that we're friends today! Our friends really showed us what it means to sacrifice to help others. To go outside of their comfort zone to help (love) a neighbor.
So one month turned into three. The government is not known for being quick with paperwork that's for sure! On Oct. 3rd, we closed and had the open door to start working on our new "smoke house".
Wall paper coming down in the dining room and kitchen.
So glad this guy is the handiest thing ever!
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Feelings get out
After walking in upset feelings for a couple days (and it seemed like those feelings continued to build with each passing hour since I felt that he should have been the one to address things) I spoke up before the sun had a chance to go down. I told husband that I couldn't do this anymore. That I felt like a single parent and that his job was taking over etc. etc.
He listened and responded.
"I don't like this either. I don't like being away from our kids and driving 3 hours a day. It's so hard and I can't do this without you. It's going to be a hard two years. When we are debt free then we are free and can live differently."
I told him that I was with him and his vision. But not at the cost of our marriage. We can either be stronger in two years or have a strained relationship.
At the end of the evening we were chipper and smiling and happy. My husband and I were not the only one's in the room that night. Jesus was there and I learned it's never good to walk in pride and in my own strength.
The next day I went to a homeschool convention. The very first session was on marriage and presented by the guy who wrote "Sacred Marriage". Here are my takeaways from that day:
1) God didn't put you in a marriage for you to be loved. Jesus already gives you all the love you need. He put you in a marriage to learn HOW to love and ultimately be more like Him.
2) Yep, you are God's daughter and He is your father but don't forget that your husband is God's son which also makes God your father-in-law.
This all happened in June 2014. We waited as people looked at our house and we looked in Fredericksburg for a new one.
He listened and responded.
"I don't like this either. I don't like being away from our kids and driving 3 hours a day. It's so hard and I can't do this without you. It's going to be a hard two years. When we are debt free then we are free and can live differently."
I told him that I was with him and his vision. But not at the cost of our marriage. We can either be stronger in two years or have a strained relationship.
At the end of the evening we were chipper and smiling and happy. My husband and I were not the only one's in the room that night. Jesus was there and I learned it's never good to walk in pride and in my own strength.
The next day I went to a homeschool convention. The very first session was on marriage and presented by the guy who wrote "Sacred Marriage". Here are my takeaways from that day:
1) God didn't put you in a marriage for you to be loved. Jesus already gives you all the love you need. He put you in a marriage to learn HOW to love and ultimately be more like Him.
2) Yep, you are God's daughter and He is your father but don't forget that your husband is God's son which also makes God your father-in-law.
This all happened in June 2014. We waited as people looked at our house and we looked in Fredericksburg for a new one.
Thursday, December 11, 2014
Part 2 of Many
I think it was finally May before we finished the kitchen and were ready to put our first bought home on the market. Does anyone remember the picture that I posted of the counter top that was wedged between the kitchen walls at a tilt? haha! I was SO angry that night. We paid a guy to do the counters but he didn't show up so husband contracted his wife to help him put it in. I remember texting my SIL FURIOUS! Well, we finished it. Our dear Philly friends helped a TON in this whole process. I took the kids to live there on more than one occasion while Mr. Philly drive to Richmond to help husband. We were not alone for sure.
Husband found a fancy realtor in Richmond that was recommended by a coworker. He came, looked at our house and complimented us on the improvements. BUT he didn't believe that we would walk away without owing the bank. He didn't think it would appraise for what we needed to walk away without gain or loss. We remained steadfast though.
The house was on the market for two months and had a handful of views. In the process there was one offer WAY below what we were asking. I honestly felt offended. Like it was a personal shot at us after all that work. Sounds funny.
While the house was on the market for those two months, husband continued his job venture while I continued my wife, mom, and at-home-business venture. I really struggled, mostly because that belief that the new position took presidency over me. In May I went on a trip to PA and then to VT. I was gone for about 10 days while husband worked 15 hr days. When I got home, I remember preparing this meal with great hopes that he would be home in time for dinner since we were gone so long. When I called to see where he was, he was still sitting at the office, 1.25 hrs away. Kids were crying and I was crushed. I'm not writing this to reveal my husband's mistakes. I ran out of grace and was trying to rely on myself to push through it all.
When he got home, I was in bed and I had NO idea how to not "let the sun go down upon my wrath". Especailly when he didn't say a word when he got home. The next night he still never said anything and I decided that it was up to me to speak up.
Continued another day...
Husband found a fancy realtor in Richmond that was recommended by a coworker. He came, looked at our house and complimented us on the improvements. BUT he didn't believe that we would walk away without owing the bank. He didn't think it would appraise for what we needed to walk away without gain or loss. We remained steadfast though.
The house was on the market for two months and had a handful of views. In the process there was one offer WAY below what we were asking. I honestly felt offended. Like it was a personal shot at us after all that work. Sounds funny.
While the house was on the market for those two months, husband continued his job venture while I continued my wife, mom, and at-home-business venture. I really struggled, mostly because that belief that the new position took presidency over me. In May I went on a trip to PA and then to VT. I was gone for about 10 days while husband worked 15 hr days. When I got home, I remember preparing this meal with great hopes that he would be home in time for dinner since we were gone so long. When I called to see where he was, he was still sitting at the office, 1.25 hrs away. Kids were crying and I was crushed. I'm not writing this to reveal my husband's mistakes. I ran out of grace and was trying to rely on myself to push through it all.
When he got home, I was in bed and I had NO idea how to not "let the sun go down upon my wrath". Especailly when he didn't say a word when he got home. The next night he still never said anything and I decided that it was up to me to speak up.
Continued another day...
Saturday, November 29, 2014
New Seasons are hard - The Beginning
It all started last year when husband's larger ups at work began talking about a possibility in a huge jump for him in his career. When I first heard mutterings of a chance that he would be an office manager somewhere else other than Richmond, I quite honestly sort of passed it by. Change is inevitable right? We all go through it sooner or later so why should I really meditate on it?
I continued to live life while mothering my four bandits, there was plenty around to stay occupied. In December, 2013 changes really started becoming "real". We ripped out chimneys and walls and floors all in the attempt to make our house sell-able. We hired help...never. People helped and husband prooved his handyman skills.
When our kitchen was gutted, I remember really being stretched. Cooking dinners in the bathroom for two months (things take longer when you do as you have the moola) put me over the edge more times than one. I promised myself that I would NEVER complain about doing dishes in the kitchen again after this. "Stay positive Melissa! You have running water!" kept going through my mind. In the mornings I had to choose to have a good attitude which was hard. My poor husband was working his tail off at work and in our house and I couldn't shake that we were working so hard just to sell our place.
Then in March, 2014 husband started his new job as a branch manager and commuted to his new office 1.25 hrs from our house. This is when my attitude slipped further and further down the crabby lane. His days were so long and I was so tired and I didn't want to be a happy wife when he came home 15 min before the kids go to bed. I'm just being honest here. I believed that this new job came before me and failed to see that he was working for us. For our family and our goals.
To be continued...
I continued to live life while mothering my four bandits, there was plenty around to stay occupied. In December, 2013 changes really started becoming "real". We ripped out chimneys and walls and floors all in the attempt to make our house sell-able. We hired help...never. People helped and husband prooved his handyman skills.
When our kitchen was gutted, I remember really being stretched. Cooking dinners in the bathroom for two months (things take longer when you do as you have the moola) put me over the edge more times than one. I promised myself that I would NEVER complain about doing dishes in the kitchen again after this. "Stay positive Melissa! You have running water!" kept going through my mind. In the mornings I had to choose to have a good attitude which was hard. My poor husband was working his tail off at work and in our house and I couldn't shake that we were working so hard just to sell our place.
Then in March, 2014 husband started his new job as a branch manager and commuted to his new office 1.25 hrs from our house. This is when my attitude slipped further and further down the crabby lane. His days were so long and I was so tired and I didn't want to be a happy wife when he came home 15 min before the kids go to bed. I'm just being honest here. I believed that this new job came before me and failed to see that he was working for us. For our family and our goals.
To be continued...
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
The Rest of the Story
It was five days after my official birthday. My day went as usual and then at 4pm I heard a knock on the door. My babysitter was here! She came right in and handed me an envelope that said "open me" on the front. Inside, I found a gift certificate for a full body message and pedicure with a little note from the man of the house. "Go to this address. You only have 15 min so leave quickly." Oh my what a surprise this was!
On my way to the spa, I realized that I hadn't even looked at my nasty feet in weeks! It's winter, why bother right? There was no time to do anything about it. I would have to explain to the lady that this was all a surprise. When I sat down for the pedicure, the little lady took one look at my feet and said "Oh wow look at this! You have tiny little specs of dried polish on your toes! Oooohhh, I'm going to take care of this for you! And since you never get these, I traded the polish that you picked for a more fancy one."
Everything was wonderful. After being doted upon for three hours, I left the place where my man was waiting for me outside. He drove us to my favorite fancy cafe where we ate while gazing upon each other's eyes. He explained how he had all this planned for days but since my birthday was on Valentine's day week, the spa was booked. Man, did I feel silly. "You could have said something a few days ago to spare me the sadness!" He just smiled. I know even more now how much he is willing to go through to keep something a surprise.
Things are not always what they seem. But a happy birthday phone call is always appreciated! ;-)
On my way to the spa, I realized that I hadn't even looked at my nasty feet in weeks! It's winter, why bother right? There was no time to do anything about it. I would have to explain to the lady that this was all a surprise. When I sat down for the pedicure, the little lady took one look at my feet and said "Oh wow look at this! You have tiny little specs of dried polish on your toes! Oooohhh, I'm going to take care of this for you! And since you never get these, I traded the polish that you picked for a more fancy one."
Everything was wonderful. After being doted upon for three hours, I left the place where my man was waiting for me outside. He drove us to my favorite fancy cafe where we ate while gazing upon each other's eyes. He explained how he had all this planned for days but since my birthday was on Valentine's day week, the spa was booked. Man, did I feel silly. "You could have said something a few days ago to spare me the sadness!" He just smiled. I know even more now how much he is willing to go through to keep something a surprise.
Things are not always what they seem. But a happy birthday phone call is always appreciated! ;-)
Thursday, March 27, 2014
A Birthday Story, Part 1
I have been meaning to write this down for days and days. If you have children you'll understand when I say that there was a need every time I went to write. But the kids are all sleeping and Caleb is still at work. So I write.
I had a birthday in February. The twelfth to be exact and 29 was the year that I turned. My parents were here for a few days beforehand and flew back to Vermont on the morning of my special day. We had a party while they were here with tasty food and happy songs. They love to come every year on February 12th and they love to make a lovely dinner and sing a special song to me. It's quite nice.
When I woke up, I expected my husband to remember and say something right away. But there was nothing and my heart started to feel downish to some degree (sounds rather lame eh?). Let me say that I DON'T expect a lavish day all intricately planned out. I do however hope that the love of my life makes me feel loved on my birthday.
The rat race of the morning started quickly, I rushed through making eggs while he dressed the children. As he ran out the door he said "oh yeah, it's your birthday" and that was that.
The day went as it normally does. Schooling the kids, snack time, reading books, breaking up fights, helping with pottyish things...I so wished to get a phone call or email from the man of the house. I wanted to be remembered. But nothing. I felt forgotten. It started to snow pretty good that afternoon. Yay! Maybe Caleb will come home early since the roads will get bad and we'll have a nice night of him helping with dinner etc. But he came home late. When he walked through the door he said all excitedly "aren't you glad I didn't die on my way home!" No reply. I just kept stirring the pot the was in front of me.
The night went like this:
1) dinner
2) got the kids ready for bed
3) the grown ups got into bed
4) me asking "did you have anything planned today?"
5) him saying "nope, not a thing. Do you want me to rub your back?"
6) me = so mad that I just couldn't answer
I most definitely let the sun go down upon my wrath that night, unaware of what was to come.
To be continued...
I had a birthday in February. The twelfth to be exact and 29 was the year that I turned. My parents were here for a few days beforehand and flew back to Vermont on the morning of my special day. We had a party while they were here with tasty food and happy songs. They love to come every year on February 12th and they love to make a lovely dinner and sing a special song to me. It's quite nice.
When I woke up, I expected my husband to remember and say something right away. But there was nothing and my heart started to feel downish to some degree (sounds rather lame eh?). Let me say that I DON'T expect a lavish day all intricately planned out. I do however hope that the love of my life makes me feel loved on my birthday.
The rat race of the morning started quickly, I rushed through making eggs while he dressed the children. As he ran out the door he said "oh yeah, it's your birthday" and that was that.
The day went as it normally does. Schooling the kids, snack time, reading books, breaking up fights, helping with pottyish things...I so wished to get a phone call or email from the man of the house. I wanted to be remembered. But nothing. I felt forgotten. It started to snow pretty good that afternoon. Yay! Maybe Caleb will come home early since the roads will get bad and we'll have a nice night of him helping with dinner etc. But he came home late. When he walked through the door he said all excitedly "aren't you glad I didn't die on my way home!" No reply. I just kept stirring the pot the was in front of me.
The night went like this:
1) dinner
2) got the kids ready for bed
3) the grown ups got into bed
4) me asking "did you have anything planned today?"
5) him saying "nope, not a thing. Do you want me to rub your back?"
6) me = so mad that I just couldn't answer
I most definitely let the sun go down upon my wrath that night, unaware of what was to come.
To be continued...
Friday, February 7, 2014
Train Your Brain
So for the past couple weeks, I have been learning how to train my brain. Did you know that we have power over our thoughts and that we have the power to change our way of thinking??!! Holy cow, I feel like a light bulb went off in my head as I connected the "take every thought captive to Jesus" to this practical training. In the past, I read that verse and had NO idea how to actually take those not-so-good-thoughts captive. Sure, I knew that memorizing scripture was a good thing but how to actually apply it effectively as the "wow, what I have gotten myself into?" thoughts come in while chaos erupts. So I'm excited as I go through this Train your Brain season. I initially started the training because my leader highly recommened it but now I'm seeing that it's not only for business owners that are trying to achieve business goals. It totally applies to your everyday life and teaches you how to
a) Love God with ALL your mind
b) Take every thought captive
c) Put off the old, and put on the new (get rid of the old thoughts and put on edifying ones)
I am trying to be more aware of my thoughts and emotions. So the other morning I loaded up all the kids in the car. I asked Emarie to help Claire with her car seat. A couple seconds later, I hear cries of frusteration in the back. I started to feel frusterated and identified my thoughts before my feelings were "Seriously? this is not worth it!..." then I stopped myself and put on a new thought "this is a great opportunity to teach patience and teamwork! Hurray!" So we waited in the car until the girls persevered. We were late to our destination but it was all worth it.
More stories to come I hope!
a) Love God with ALL your mind
b) Take every thought captive
c) Put off the old, and put on the new (get rid of the old thoughts and put on edifying ones)
I am trying to be more aware of my thoughts and emotions. So the other morning I loaded up all the kids in the car. I asked Emarie to help Claire with her car seat. A couple seconds later, I hear cries of frusteration in the back. I started to feel frusterated and identified my thoughts before my feelings were "Seriously? this is not worth it!..." then I stopped myself and put on a new thought "this is a great opportunity to teach patience and teamwork! Hurray!" So we waited in the car until the girls persevered. We were late to our destination but it was all worth it.
More stories to come I hope!
Monday, January 27, 2014
Morning Email to Caleb
Dear Mr. Lange,
So far Elliott has had four pee accidents. Three were outside. Now he is toddling around outside with a snow suit on the outside and a buck naked body on the inside. Due to the lack of nonpeed on pants.
Elliott pooped out a bead this morning. When I announced it, Emarie asked "was is square with an 'o' on it?" Sure was kid. Apparently he thought it was candy yesterday.
When I let Elliott go outside for the millionth time after soaking himself again he says "mom's not mean! Mom is nice!"
When I gave Elliott and Claire some dot paints during Arts and Crafts time, Elliott was covered in red paint from the nose down. I guess it wasn't smart to give Miles a tubby in the kitchen sink while they painted. I stuck Elliott in the shower while he complained about his tummy boo boo. It's feeling much better now.
Please don't be alarmed by the bombs all over the house when you come home. I know you'll only notice the hot chick scrambling to get dinner ready as you walk in the door. Who cares about the toys all over the floor and the loads of unfinished laundry when a site like that is in your way? ;-)
So far it has been eventful. Thank you for working your tail off so that I could have these kind of memories forever.
Love,
Me
So far Elliott has had four pee accidents. Three were outside. Now he is toddling around outside with a snow suit on the outside and a buck naked body on the inside. Due to the lack of nonpeed on pants.
Elliott pooped out a bead this morning. When I announced it, Emarie asked "was is square with an 'o' on it?" Sure was kid. Apparently he thought it was candy yesterday.
When I let Elliott go outside for the millionth time after soaking himself again he says "mom's not mean! Mom is nice!"
When I gave Elliott and Claire some dot paints during Arts and Crafts time, Elliott was covered in red paint from the nose down. I guess it wasn't smart to give Miles a tubby in the kitchen sink while they painted. I stuck Elliott in the shower while he complained about his tummy boo boo. It's feeling much better now.
Please don't be alarmed by the bombs all over the house when you come home. I know you'll only notice the hot chick scrambling to get dinner ready as you walk in the door. Who cares about the toys all over the floor and the loads of unfinished laundry when a site like that is in your way? ;-)
So far it has been eventful. Thank you for working your tail off so that I could have these kind of memories forever.
Love,
Me
Sunday, January 5, 2014
A Christmas Miracle
So many gifts on Christmas morning were given to me. I have so much to be thankful for and so do you.
My littlest turned 6 months old on December 25th. Such a glory to my heart.
My littlest turned 6 months old on December 25th. Such a glory to my heart.
Friday, January 3, 2014
Did you know...
...that I woke up this morning to the sound of blaring Veggie Tales kid's music, fighting kids, and a crying baby. Caleb left for work early and I didn't wake up before the kids this time. I like our system of having the kid radio go off at their 7am wake time but today I wished against it. I rolled out of bed, half asleep and half dressed. When the kids saw me, the baby cried more, the toddler boy said "help please mom, help please mom, help please mom" (while unfolding his clothes in search of his dinosaur shirt), and the girls were fighting over who owned more dresses. After calming the storm (all while trying to keep my eyes open) I threw on the first pair of sweatpants and shirt that I could reach before heading to the kitchen to make breakfast. "Ahhh!" Then Caleb appreared out of nowhere! "What a Christmas miracle!" were the first words out of my mouth. "You go take a shower" were the first words out of his. It's pretty cool how grace shows up when you need it.
...that we're moving. Yes, my leader has accepted a promotion in Fredricksburg, VA. He starts next month. He will be commuting the 1.25 hr distance for awhile until we sell the house.
...that true friends offer to be your wet nurse when you have a nursing crises. I had an injury that later caused an infection that caused an ER visit that caused me not nursing on a side that caused a hungry baby and less production. I didn't even ask. My friend offered to pump for me while I healed. She has three little kids of her own on top of that. I cried on the way to her house to pick up milk as I thought about the gift of friendship. I am so blessed.
...that I'm trying to dream again. It's been hard for the past few weeks. The activities of today make it hard to hope and dream about what's to come. But I'm starting to again and it's fun.
...that chocolate mint, dark coffee, and brie cheese are the best. That's all for now...
...that we're moving. Yes, my leader has accepted a promotion in Fredricksburg, VA. He starts next month. He will be commuting the 1.25 hr distance for awhile until we sell the house.
...that true friends offer to be your wet nurse when you have a nursing crises. I had an injury that later caused an infection that caused an ER visit that caused me not nursing on a side that caused a hungry baby and less production. I didn't even ask. My friend offered to pump for me while I healed. She has three little kids of her own on top of that. I cried on the way to her house to pick up milk as I thought about the gift of friendship. I am so blessed.
...that I'm trying to dream again. It's been hard for the past few weeks. The activities of today make it hard to hope and dream about what's to come. But I'm starting to again and it's fun.
...that chocolate mint, dark coffee, and brie cheese are the best. That's all for now...
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Laying it Down
Yesterday. While I was driving my sick kids to the doctor, I was reminded that someone died for me. Someone came to this world to die and save me! I think we forget that a lot for many reasons. It's so hard to wrap my brain around that. Who would come from a totally perfect place JUST to save people? It's mind blowing actually. People are so forgetful. I am so forgetful. I focus on the bad, the things that I need to do, what the naked eye can see, and forget to remember what He did for me.
"I made you to die also"...
Man....this Christian thing is tough. And honestly, I didn't realize how/what dying meant until I was forced to serve the smaller than me. I'm not writing this to say that I now have it together. That I'm some mother Theresa. My children see that I need a savior just as much as they do (and so does every Saint past and present).
So we get to the Dr. My children have strep throat. I load all the sicklings back up and head to Target for some meds. And then my "dyingness" is tested. As I pull into the parking lot, the pharmacist calls.
"Mrs. Lange, we are currently out of your prescription, can I fax it to another store?"
I agreed for her to fax it to the nearest pharmacy (which is Walmart....I can't stand Walmart). As I'm pulling into Walmart (while my 4 month old is SCREAMING from the exhaustion of being toted around) she calls again.
"Mame, Elliott's presciption was just called in. We have enough meds for him but not for Claire and Emarie. And Walmart only has enough for two kids, not three..."
Me = mad. I wanted to say "Lady, do you have ANY idea what it's like to bring four little kids into a store, let alone four sick kids?!! You HAVE to be kidding me!" Instead I said something like "Mame, I have four sick kids. I will go to ONE store or NO store. Not TWO!". I wasn't a gracious Christian at that moment.
I took them all into Walmart. Where we sat 45 min waiting for the prescription to be ready. There was a reason for it all. There were people to reach and offer encouraging words. God uses children to show love to people in amazing ways. His word is true, they are BLESSINGS even in sickness and even in Walmart.
"I made you to die also"...
Man....this Christian thing is tough. And honestly, I didn't realize how/what dying meant until I was forced to serve the smaller than me. I'm not writing this to say that I now have it together. That I'm some mother Theresa. My children see that I need a savior just as much as they do (and so does every Saint past and present).
So we get to the Dr. My children have strep throat. I load all the sicklings back up and head to Target for some meds. And then my "dyingness" is tested. As I pull into the parking lot, the pharmacist calls.
"Mrs. Lange, we are currently out of your prescription, can I fax it to another store?"
I agreed for her to fax it to the nearest pharmacy (which is Walmart....I can't stand Walmart). As I'm pulling into Walmart (while my 4 month old is SCREAMING from the exhaustion of being toted around) she calls again.
"Mame, Elliott's presciption was just called in. We have enough meds for him but not for Claire and Emarie. And Walmart only has enough for two kids, not three..."
Me = mad. I wanted to say "Lady, do you have ANY idea what it's like to bring four little kids into a store, let alone four sick kids?!! You HAVE to be kidding me!" Instead I said something like "Mame, I have four sick kids. I will go to ONE store or NO store. Not TWO!". I wasn't a gracious Christian at that moment.
I took them all into Walmart. Where we sat 45 min waiting for the prescription to be ready. There was a reason for it all. There were people to reach and offer encouraging words. God uses children to show love to people in amazing ways. His word is true, they are BLESSINGS even in sickness and even in Walmart.
Friday, September 20, 2013
Honesty
By the time 2 o'clock rolls around, the same feeling surfaces in my heart as the day before. I become tense, stressed, and plain annoyed that I can't do everything that I want to do. If everything doesn't go perfectly right for the rest of the day, I might not get it all done. I want to have dinner ready when Caleb comes home. I want to look like I haven't rolled out of bed and started the day without taking a shower. I want to feel less behind in my at home business. I want the beds to be made and children to be taking naps. As I strive to do it all and always come up short at the end of the day, my head hits the pillow feeling so unaccomplished.
And then the terrible thoughts surface...
"He shouldn't even expect dinner when he walks in the door!" (even though he doesn't and is always willing to help with whatever needs to be done when he comes home)
"I can't believe he expects me to do everything. Laundry, cleaning, home school, meals....My job is much harder than his..." (and then I'm not a happy cheery wife when he comes home from hours of drilling in the dirt in the hot sun)
"I'm not sure about having more kids."
Where do these thoughts come from? As I sit and reflect I believe it comes primarliy from a selfish and prideful heart. And a heart that wants to feel like I did something that matters. Something that I'm noticed for maybe? I was never asked or expected to do it all but I still feel like the world expects it. And I know I shouldn't care what the world expects because I am not of the world, just in it.
That's all for tonight. I don't have any revelations. Just honest feelings.
And then the terrible thoughts surface...
"He shouldn't even expect dinner when he walks in the door!" (even though he doesn't and is always willing to help with whatever needs to be done when he comes home)
"I can't believe he expects me to do everything. Laundry, cleaning, home school, meals....My job is much harder than his..." (and then I'm not a happy cheery wife when he comes home from hours of drilling in the dirt in the hot sun)
"I'm not sure about having more kids."
Where do these thoughts come from? As I sit and reflect I believe it comes primarliy from a selfish and prideful heart. And a heart that wants to feel like I did something that matters. Something that I'm noticed for maybe? I was never asked or expected to do it all but I still feel like the world expects it. And I know I shouldn't care what the world expects because I am not of the world, just in it.
That's all for tonight. I don't have any revelations. Just honest feelings.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Two Months
Of watching my Miles Boy grow into a larger Miles Boy. Babies really do grow quicker as your family becomes larger. Our family can't get enough of him. He is so very loved around here as your can see.
We celebrated 6 years of marriage! Wow, 6 years and 4 kids later. The average Joe would say that that's excessive. I say it was all in the plan ;-) Do you know why I love this lover of mine and father of my chillins? He lays his life down for us. Everyday. And He just makes life more fun.
So some of you might be wondering where I've been and what I've been up to. I've been living life, and trying to do it at it's fullest. There are bumps here and there and days that seem to last forever that I wish would just end. But it's not hard to see that I've beyond blessed. And I don't deserve a single morsel of it.
We finally had a photo shoot of this growing family of ours. My sis-in-law took some marvelous ones. I especially like the look on Emarie's face.
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Thoughts on Kids
Elliott woke up early from his nap so he plays with Emarie in the playroom with the door closed. When I say play, I mean crying while pounding on the door and yelling "DAAAADDY!!!!" Caleb isn't amused by this as he reads his Ted Decker book while lounging on the couch. We have noticed that our children are very needy when Caleb is home. They want constant attention and entertainment. We don't believe that we should ignore them while tinkering on weekend to-do lists but I do think they need to learn to entertain themselves a bit when daddy is home. After having some kids, I have learned that children need to be taught and guided to play alone. I know moms that start this very early with playpens or gates and set a timer while their child plays without mom and dad. I feel like I haven't trained enough in this area. Does anyone out there have some wisdom to share??
Saturday, July 6, 2013
A little time to compare...
Emaire Kipplyn
Claire Batel
Elliott Reuel
Miles Nuriel
Friday, June 28, 2013
A Birth Story
It was June 24th, 2013 and I was 41 weeks, 5 days pregnant. My body felt ready to have a baby so my midwife, Glenda came over, checked me and determined that I was a good 7cm dilated. After chilling for a couple hours to see if labor would progress, we all went back to bed to see if the next day would bring a baby.
A Boy!
Me, the day before my 4th born came into the world
On June 25th, we all woke up and wondered if it would be the day. Caleb stayed home from work because you never know just how long it will take a baby to come when you're at 7cm. We played in the kiddy pool, wandered around the yard, and mingled as a family in great anticipation.
Us, on the morning of the birth
I decided to have Glenda come over in the afternoon to check me and strip my membranes (a method of inducing labor). At 3pm I was stripped and the contractions started. Not too strong but more regular. I walked in the heat to 7-Eleven to get Slurpees (Caleb's suggestion to help labor along) with the family, walked and stood, and knelt, and rocked. Anything I could do to keep the contractions regular. They came while I labored in my home, while my kids ran around with "Aunt" (my sista Haley!) and my husband encouraged (hence the 7 Eleven journey). Caleb and Aunt put the kids to bed around 8pm. After our goodnight kisses, Emarie jumped into bed saying "Have a good birth mom!" (So glad her idea of birth is a good one!)
At 9pm, I was checked again. I was 9 cm and baby's head was an inch from coming out. "We are ready when you are Melissa. You need to be ok with pushing your baby out. That part that you don't want to do..." my midwife encouraged.
I then knew my body was waiting on me. I prayed and imagined holding my baby. The truth is, I just didn't want to go through the pushing and the out of control feeling. I began to accept and my body went into transition. Strong contractions came and I stood at the foot of my bed. 45 minutes of transition and my water broke. "I'm pushing out my baby!" It all happened so fast after that. I quickly got onto the bed and pushed a head out. Then out came a body, all while holding onto Caleb's arms quite tightly. When Glenda said "reach down and get your baby dad" my strong grip just didn't allow that to happen. Up he went on my chest while crying his first wails.
A Boy!
We have another son! He was 8lb 2oz and 20.5" long.
Our third homebirth was a wonderful experience that I will have forever. We are beyond blessed to have a great birthing team here in Richmond and hospitals close by if a transfer was ever needed.
Our children woke up in the morning to a new baby brother.
Welcome to the world my 4th born and 2nd son. We So love you!
Our children woke up in the morning to a new baby brother.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Time
I sit here and write in my blog while my baby rests peacefully inside my womb at 41 weeks, +4 days. As the time passes by, people wait anxiously for any news of this he or she to make their arrival into this world. While I totally understand the excitement (I'm of course ready to be holding, cuddling, nursing, smelling, this child!) and the "are you in labor yet?" comments, I choose to rest and wait for the perfect time. I full heartedly believe that God has a perfect time for EVERYTHING. Even the exact moment of delivery. And I do see the medical side of "it's just not safe to let you baby bake inside you for more than 41 weeks!" and pregnancies are all unique and some do indeed need to be ended before nature takes it's course.
Why would it be nice to have this baby in the next couple hours? Oh the reasons!...
I'm huge
I'm tired
I hurt
I am inconvenienced
I am forced to give me!
but isn't that what we're called to do everyday even if you're NOT 41+4 weeks pregnant? Didn't Jesus call us to "die daily"? AND he promises great rewards to those that are faithful. I know this reward is gloriously great and worth another day of hugeness. I don't pretend to be happy and giddy with my physical state day in and day out. His grace takes me through the "I'm just through with this!" moments.
This baby belongs to Him and He chooses the time. Not me and there is a wonderful peace in that.
Why would it be nice to have this baby in the next couple hours? Oh the reasons!...
I'm huge
I'm tired
I hurt
I am inconvenienced
I am forced to give me!
but isn't that what we're called to do everyday even if you're NOT 41+4 weeks pregnant? Didn't Jesus call us to "die daily"? AND he promises great rewards to those that are faithful. I know this reward is gloriously great and worth another day of hugeness. I don't pretend to be happy and giddy with my physical state day in and day out. His grace takes me through the "I'm just through with this!" moments.
This baby belongs to Him and He chooses the time. Not me and there is a wonderful peace in that.
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Saturday
Saturday is a day to:
Relish in the backyard. To spend extra time picking lavender and thinking of ways to use it.
Relish in the backyard. To spend extra time picking lavender and thinking of ways to use it.
So far Caleb is the only one to take the initiative and make lavender lemonade. It's quite tasty I must say! Saturday is also a day to eat Popsicles until completely covered in blueberryness.
Aren't they just delightful little offspring? It's crazy to think that another is on it's way in just minutes, hours, days! So I am trying to just "be" and enjoy these moments while at the same time chip away at little things around here before Lange baby 4 pops on out. Speaking of popping out, we are having another homebirth and I'm so happy about it. Yes, I am not exactly wanting to endure that familiar pain, but life is worth it.
And there is a glorious plan for each one...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)