Morning Email to Caleb

 Dear Mr. Lange,

So far Elliott has had four pee accidents. Three were outside. Now he is toddling around outside with a snow suit on the outside and a buck naked body on the inside. Due to the lack of nonpeed on pants.

Elliott pooped out a bead this morning. When I announced it, Emarie asked "was is square with an 'o' on it?" Sure was kid. Apparently he thought it was candy yesterday.

When I let Elliott go outside for the millionth time after soaking himself again he says "mom's not mean! Mom is nice!"

When I gave Elliott and Claire some dot paints during Arts and Crafts time, Elliott was covered in red paint from the nose down. I guess it wasn't smart to give Miles a tubby in the kitchen sink while they painted.  I stuck Elliott in the shower while he complained about his tummy boo boo. It's feeling much better now.

Please don't be alarmed by the bombs all over the house when you come home. I know you'll only notice the hot chick scrambling to get dinner ready as you walk in the door. Who cares about the toys all over the floor and the loads of unfinished laundry when a site like that is in your way? ;-)

So far it has been eventful. Thank you for working your tail off so that I could have these kind of memories forever.

Love,

Me

A Christmas Miracle

So many gifts on Christmas morning were given to me. I have so much to be thankful for and so do you.

My littlest turned 6 months old on December 25th. Such a glory to my heart.

Did you know...

...that I woke up this morning to the sound of blaring Veggie Tales kid's music, fighting kids, and a crying baby. Caleb left for work early and I didn't wake up before the kids this time. I like our system of having the kid radio go off at their 7am wake time but today I wished against it. I rolled out of bed, half asleep and half dressed. When the kids saw me, the baby cried more, the toddler boy said "help please mom, help please mom, help please mom" (while unfolding his clothes in search of his dinosaur shirt), and the girls were fighting over who owned more dresses. After calming the storm (all while trying to keep my eyes open) I threw on the first pair of sweatpants and shirt that I could reach before heading to the kitchen to make breakfast. "Ahhh!" Then Caleb appreared out of nowhere! "What a Christmas miracle!" were the first words out of my mouth. "You go take a shower" were the first words out of his. It's pretty cool how grace shows up when you need it.

...that we're moving. Yes, my leader has accepted a promotion in Fredricksburg, VA. He starts next month. He will be commuting the 1.25 hr distance for awhile until we sell the house.

...that true friends offer to be your wet nurse when you have a nursing crises. I had an injury that later caused an infection that caused an ER visit that caused me not nursing on a side that caused a hungry baby and less production. I didn't even ask. My friend offered to pump for me while I healed. She has three little kids of her own on top of that. I cried on the way to her house to pick up milk as I thought about the gift of friendship. I am so blessed.

...that I'm trying to dream again. It's been hard for the past few weeks. The activities of today make it hard to hope and dream about what's to come. But I'm starting to again and it's fun.

...that chocolate mint, dark coffee, and brie cheese are the best. That's all for now...

Laying it Down

Yesterday. While I was driving my sick kids to the doctor, I was reminded that someone died for me. Someone came to this world to die and save me! I think we forget that a lot for many reasons. It's so hard to wrap my brain around that. Who would come from a totally perfect place JUST to save people? It's mind blowing actually. People are so forgetful. I am so forgetful. I focus on the bad, the things that I need to do, what the naked eye can see, and forget to remember what He did for me.

"I made you to die also"...

Man....this Christian thing is tough. And honestly, I didn't realize how/what dying meant until I was forced to serve the smaller than me. I'm not writing this to say that I now have it together. That I'm some mother Theresa. My children see that I need a savior just as much as they do (and so does every Saint past and present).

So we get to the Dr. My children have strep throat. I load all the sicklings back up and head to Target for some meds. And then my "dyingness" is tested. As I pull into the parking lot, the pharmacist calls.

"Mrs. Lange, we are currently out of your prescription, can I fax it to another store?"

I agreed for her to fax it to the nearest pharmacy (which is Walmart....I can't stand Walmart). As I'm pulling into Walmart (while my 4 month old is SCREAMING from the exhaustion of being toted around) she calls again.

"Mame, Elliott's presciption was just called in. We have enough meds for him but not for Claire and Emarie. And Walmart only has enough for two kids, not three..."

Me = mad. I wanted to say "Lady, do you have ANY idea what it's like to bring four little kids into a store, let alone four sick kids?!! You HAVE to be kidding me!" Instead I said something like "Mame, I have four sick kids. I will go to ONE store or NO store. Not TWO!". I wasn't a gracious Christian at that moment.

I took them all into Walmart. Where we sat 45 min waiting for the prescription  to be ready. There was a reason for it all. There were people to reach and offer encouraging words. God uses children to show love to people in amazing ways. His word is true, they are BLESSINGS even in sickness and even in Walmart.

Honesty

By the time 2 o'clock rolls around, the same feeling surfaces in my heart as the day before. I become tense, stressed, and plain annoyed that I can't do everything that I want to do. If everything doesn't go perfectly right for the rest of the day, I might not get it all done. I want to have dinner ready when Caleb comes home. I want to look like I haven't rolled out of bed and started the day without taking a shower. I want to feel less behind in my at home business. I want the beds to be made and children to be taking naps. As I strive to do it all and always come up short at the end of the day, my head hits the pillow feeling so unaccomplished.

And then the terrible thoughts surface...

"He shouldn't even expect dinner when he walks in the door!" (even though he doesn't and is always willing to help with whatever needs to be done when he comes home)

"I can't believe he expects me to do everything. Laundry, cleaning, home school, meals....My job is much harder than his..." (and then I'm not a happy cheery wife when he comes home from hours of drilling in the dirt in the hot sun)

"I'm not sure about having more kids."

Where do these thoughts come from? As I sit and reflect I believe it comes primarliy from a selfish and prideful heart. And a heart that wants to feel like I did something that matters. Something that I'm noticed for maybe? I was never asked or expected to do it all but I still feel like the world expects it. And I know I shouldn't care what the world expects because I am not of the world, just in it.

That's all for tonight. I don't have any revelations. Just honest feelings.

Two Months

Of watching my Miles Boy grow into a larger Miles Boy. Babies really do grow quicker as your family becomes larger. Our family can't get enough of him. He is so very loved around here as your can see.

We finally had a photo shoot of this growing family of ours. My sis-in-law took some marvelous ones. I especially like the look on Emarie's face.

 We celebrated 6 years of marriage! Wow, 6 years and 4 kids later. The average Joe would say that that's excessive. I say it was all in the plan ;-) Do you know why I love this lover of mine and father of my chillins? He lays his life down for us. Everyday. And He just makes life more fun.

 So some of you might be wondering where I've been and what I've been up to. I've been living life, and trying to do it at it's fullest. There are bumps here and there and days that seem to last forever that I wish would just end. But it's not hard to see that I've beyond blessed. And I don't deserve a single morsel of it.

Thoughts on Kids

Elliott woke up early from his nap so he plays with Emarie in the playroom with the door closed. When I say play, I mean crying while pounding on the door and yelling "DAAAADDY!!!!" Caleb isn't amused by this as he reads his Ted Decker book while lounging on the couch. We have noticed that our children are very needy when Caleb is home. They want constant attention and entertainment. We don't believe that we should ignore them while tinkering on weekend to-do lists but I do think they need to learn to entertain themselves a bit when daddy is home. After having some kids, I have learned that children need to be taught and guided to play alone. I know moms that start this very early with playpens or gates and set a timer while their child plays without mom and dad. I feel like I haven't trained enough in this area. Does anyone out there have some wisdom to share??