Time

I sit here and write in my blog while my baby rests peacefully inside my womb at 41 weeks, +4 days. As the time passes by, people wait anxiously for any news of this he or she to make their arrival into this world. While I totally understand the excitement (I'm of course ready to be holding, cuddling, nursing, smelling, this child!) and the "are you in labor yet?" comments, I choose to rest and wait for the perfect time. I full heartedly believe that God has a perfect time for EVERYTHING. Even the exact moment of delivery. And I do see the medical side of "it's just not safe to let you baby bake inside you for more than 41 weeks!" and pregnancies are all unique and some do indeed need to be ended before nature takes it's course.

Why would it be nice to have this baby in the next couple hours? Oh the reasons!...

I'm huge
I'm tired
I hurt
I am inconvenienced
I am forced to give me!

but isn't that what we're called to do everyday even if you're NOT 41+4 weeks pregnant? Didn't Jesus call us to "die daily"?  AND he promises great rewards to those that are faithful. I know this reward is gloriously great and worth another day of hugeness.  I don't pretend to be happy and giddy with my physical state day in and day out. His grace takes me through the "I'm just through with this!" moments.

This baby belongs  to Him and He chooses the time. Not me and there is a wonderful peace in that.

Saturday

Saturday is a day to:

Relish in the backyard. To spend extra time picking lavender and thinking of ways to use it.

So far Caleb is the only one to take the initiative and make lavender lemonade. It's quite tasty I must say! Saturday is also a day to eat Popsicles until completely covered in blueberryness. 

Aren't they just delightful little offspring? It's crazy to think that another is on it's way in just minutes, hours, days! So I am trying to just "be" and enjoy these moments while at the same time chip away at little things around here before Lange baby 4 pops on out. Speaking of popping out, we are having another homebirth and I'm so happy about it. Yes, I am not exactly wanting to endure that familiar pain, but life is worth it. 

And there is a glorious plan for each one...

Mutterings

I thought that maybe labor was beginning last night as contractions continued every 4 minutes. But they didn't continue past two hours of breathing through them. I kept thinking that I wasn't ready to have the baby because my house was almost totally empty of food and there was no way I wanted to pop out a kid and have no tasty goodness to celebrate. Maybe labor will start up again on Saturday when I go buy some yummy things.

I love the 20 month old stage but sometimes I don't at all. While the girls play quietly with their blocks, Eliiott always manages to wack them on the head with a large piece. And oh the tears start to flow and mama wants to just hide in a cave for a few minutes.

We live in a very Mexican area of Richmond. On weekends the clubs boom with lovely Mexican tunes causing husband and I to wish we were in some very remote country area. But we do love the Mexican market right across the street from us where no one can speak english. Oh the food is GOOD and REAL mexican and CHEAP. I think I'll ask husband if we can walk there tonight ;-)

If I had $1000 to spend at Costco I would be as high as a kite. Can you imagine? Cheese, berries, chocolate, produce galore! I am thankful to go and get some of the items listed. Highlight of weekend.

What's your weekend highlight?

Feelings

I feel like being alone with no questions, no "can I have some water?" and no listening to fussing from tired and sick children. I feel like giving someone at Caleb's work a piece of my mind. Maybe that will get the message across that I'm tired of him working long hours and on weekends. I know I sound ungrateful. I should be thankful that he has a job and that he's working hard to support his family. But I'm not feeling thankful today.

I'm feeling annoyed, saddened, and tired of all the baggage that people bring to the table about my pastor. Don't people have lives? Don't they have something better to do than post junk on facebook? Don't I have something better to do than read it all? I'm done reading about it.

I'm feeling sad that a friend's little baby is in the hospital. Praise God things the surgery went well but it's beyond hard to watch your little child in pain. Pray for a full recovery and that everyone can return home soon.

"My Grace is Sufficient" for every situation. I do believe that, but honestly I don't "feel" it all the time. Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands in the air and saying "just come back now! I'm ready for heaven!" And I doubt He wants us to be comfortable here anyways. We need to be reminded that this is not our home. I am reminded today.

Adventures

On the way home from the chiropractor today, I decided to stop at the grocery store just to get ketchup for our hamburgers tonight. How can one possibily eat hamburgers without ketchup??! It was lunchtime. All three kids were hungry, so was pregnant mom, and mom was too tired to think about preparing lunch for all three hungry kids later. So we decided to eat some food in the dining area of the store for our lunch. Our table was next to a bunch of firemen; also eating their food. We were there, eating our yogurt happily and then my three-year-old starts yelling totally out of the blue. "I'm going pee!!! Oh NO!! My chair is wet! It's in my shoes!!". I grabbed my kids, left our cart of food, and ran to the bathroom while the guys all watched in silence.

So the ketchup adventure took over an hour. In times like these, you can only laugh and pray that God teaches you to put the Holy Spirit in control of your days. We got home and decided to play in the water while the spring sun heated our backyard to 90 degrees. By the time I helped the kids out of their clothes and into their swimsuits, cleaned a one-year-old poopy butt, and calmed a child after being sprayed by her older sister, I felt like collapsing. And that is what I'll do now while the kids are sleeping.

More about my life

The past few weeks have been nutsish. Caleb has been working like a horse (which is a blessing) and I'm reminded daily that I married a hard-working-hunk-of-a-man. My children are continually growing and learning the finer lessons of life. The woman of the house is trying to do her motherly and wifely duties while building my business. God is good. SO good and faithful. I feel like I need to be reminded to keep my priorities strait quite frequently lately.

But anyways, onto more exciting news. Caleb and I took our first vacation since our wedding. Two free tickets to Aruba! Who would pass that up! We stayed in the "natives" part of the island, far from the resort folk. We ate local food, talked to local people while we rode in PACKED bus vans, and did activities that pregnant woman are allowed to do. You will see from the pictures that we delighted in each other the whole time :)

out as a family

We went to BJs wholesale food store yesterday to purchase ingredients for my two-week-menu-plan. I usually like going alone, with just me so I can think and maybe stay on the budget that my husband so carefully plans. But the thought of leaving them all brought a missingness feeling to my soul. So, away we all went. While the rest of Richmond sang songs in church services.

When we got there, Caleb took the three little ones in one large cart, along with a filled box of Teddy Grams. They traveled thru the isles while I shopped, eating every last one. I checked out while my family wondered about. As I began to pay for our food, they joined me and that's when I heard a voice to my left shoulder. It was an ugly voice with a very annoying tone. "my, you sure make things complicated...But it's cute to have them all in one cart like that..." that is all I heard from his nasty face as he looked at my family. I usually try to say something kind in return but I was in no mood. Instead of saying what I really wanted to say ("I'm going to make your sorry excuse for a face even more complicated then it already is if you say another word. I would rather have my complicated life then yours any day...") I ignored his words and walked away.

So now you know. I don't always have loving thoughts towards those that look about with dumb comments. There are many moments that I'm not prepared to or don't feel like shining Christ's light. I learn from this and pray that I will have something wise to say next time.