Perhaps a nonboring post

My husband informed me last night that my blog is downright boring. When I told him I haven't thought about blogging these days, he said I should just delete it then. I'll take that to mean that he (and his coworkers mind you) enjoy regular posts about my momhood life.

So as most of you know, we're expecting our 4th child. A part of me is just crazed that we're at 4! I was one of four and I (and lost of others) thought that was a lot! Another part of me is so excited. All of me knows that this child was planned from the beginning of time. My flesh is tired at times but I am renewed by grace everyday.

I have been working on my new Norwex business lately. I have dreams that I will help reach the city with this wonderful stuff. My husband is extremely supportive of it and there is no way I could do it without him. We hope to be debt free in three years, even when seasons of bills seem to come and come. God is faithful and we are trying to obey.

Caleb passed his PE test. This means he is a professional engineer and can legally design structures or a lot relating to structures for you. Give him a call if you're interested. He's a smart one. He received a gym membership for Christmas from me this year. I want him to have muscles.

I kids are just wonderful. Emarie is daily displaying her big sibling abilities with tender lovings. She loves to rock her sister when Claire is sad or tired and she loves to wrestle with her little bud brother. Claire loves her family and reminds me of that everyday. When she says "I love you mommy", she always adds "and I really love my daddy too". Elliott is toddling around here at fast speeds. He tries to copy the words we say and the steps that we take. It is so fun to see him grow and learn.

Christmas is past but we continue to celebrate around here. Caleb's siblings and their families are coming here this weekend to have our annual Lange sibling party. Let the festivities begin!

People

I am  not home. I am far from it. In a place where I once did call home but now it's a place where I visit and remember where I grew up with all it's memories. I am thankful for growing up in Vermont but have no desire to live here.

The kids and I ventured north while Caleb worked his tail off in Cuba. I don't know what's tougher, drilling for hours on end in a wierd land, or driving three small kids 11 hours in the car. I'm going to bet that he had it harder. So I'm here until Friday, and then over to Potsdam, NY I go. The thought of seeing some forever friends in my early saved days makes my heart sing! From Potsdam, we'll go to Rochester and meet Caleb for Thanksgiving.

At this present moment, I feel wiped out on all fronts. Body, soul, emotions, mind...Today I feel like surrendering everything and just letting God steer this ship. The beautiful thing about it is that this is probably exactly where God wants me. I'm glad I have that to lean on.

Blessings

My parents graciously invited us to go on vacation with them in the blue mountains of Virginia. Boy, was is a wonderful place! We stayed at a resort where there was things for all people of all sizes. My children had a blast and loved spending time with their Granny Dee and Pops. There were many tears at their departure. Here are some fun pics of the experience:

He wants me

I did something terrible today. Something that required a 911 call...

I took my kiddos to the store. When we got home, I helped the two girls out of their seats. When I went to get Elliott out of his, the door was locked. Every door was locked. Don't ask me how, they just were. My phone was also locked in the car. I ran to the neighbors and used their phone. After calling Caleb a million times, there was only one thing I could do....

Soon the fire truck arrived, then the police, and then the ambulance. They smashed a window and retrieved my sobbing son. The EMT man checked him and he was ok. Praise Jesus it is a cool day. The police got a statement. I can't remember what I told her. I hope she doesn't call social services.

Now as the kids peacefully sleep, I ask why. God, do you want to humble me? Do you want me to see that I can't do this parenting thing without You? Do You want me to see the gifts that my kids are?

This event surely forced me to see all of this and meditate on it all. But I think He is telling me that He wants me. He wants a relationship with me. He wants me to talk with Him, for me to be in complete wonderment. I once heard someone say that if you're not praying, then God will give you something to pray about. He cares more about my heart then a passenger side car window.

If you think I'm flawed, you're totally right...

Pics and stuff

We've been potty training my two-year-old Claire Bear these past few weeks. After cleaning several poops from her big-girl-under-paints, Caleb went to the chocolate store with Emarie and spent 30 bucks on fancy animal chocolates. He installed an Ikea wire curtain rod across the dinning room wall, and dangled all of these precious goodies for Claire to see. It worked.

 I'm done canning all the garden stuff. Not a single tomato was lost. Elliott was my first mate helper through it all...

 
My little Elliott boy is just so wonderful...

We went to Vermont in June for my sista's wedding. My girls loved seeing their antie. 

Just Serve!

Lately I have been working on serving without expecting anything in return. I really really am a selfish person...

The other day, my neighbor was telling me how he had so many tomatoes and how he didn't know how to can them. So I said that I would can his while I was canning mine. In the middle of canning all these tomatoes, while sauce spattered all over my kitchen, while sweat dripped from my head from the intense heat of the kitchen, and while trying to can it all before the children waked, I found myself saying "I can't believe I told him I would do this! IF HE ONLY KNEW WHAT THIS ENTAILS!"

The other night I really wanted my husband to give me some extra special attention. It was one of those days and I felt like I needed some "sweet lovin". I just wanted him to spend his whole evening doing what I wanted. I fell asleep very annoyed because the night didn't go as I planned.

The other day was laundry day and I had a schedule of stuff to get done. My mind was only on what needed to get done. When the kids began to holler and run all over the place, I snapped and told them to sit on their shapes (duct taped shapes on the kitchen floor) until I could think. Not realizing that they just needed some mom time.


These are just some of the selfish moments of my life and that I reflect on. I am challenged to die every day and see my need for a savior!

Daily

I know it's been a long long time since I've posted and I really do desire to post more. I honestly haven't made it a priority as of late. Ever since I picked up my girls from NY, we've been on a schedule that has been working well for us but sadly, blogging hasn't been on it. So I shall make a goal. To blog 5 times each week. Please keep me accountable!

And for the record, I love not having facebook :)

8 Months...

of watching my little man grow.

Leaving

I will leave in 90 minutes. From here, I will pick up my husband from work and then off we will go to Pennsylvania to pick up my first and second born children. They have been gone for three weeks with their grandparents. What a hard three weeks it has been. You may be wondering what I have been doing with my days while they've been gone. A bathroom has been completely gutted, tiled, painted, and replumbed, 75 quarts of applesauce have been canned, a house has been organized, a 8 month old baby has been played with a lot, and a husband and wife have had lots of one on one conversations. It has been a blessed week of production but I am reminded again of how exceedingly blessed I am by my children. As Caleb and I were working on the bathroom, he said "can you imagine how our house would look if we didn't have kids?" (obviously not implying that he wished we didn't) That statement got me thinking. This structure that we live in is always rotting, something will always need fixing, and something will always need cleaning. It is SO passing! My children are not. They are eternal. Their little souls are forever and priceless.

When I got laid off, I started my stay-at-home-mom venture full time for the first time. I knew that was what God wanted me to do, I knew it was important but I didn't really really know how important. We got rid of our second car, we erased our entertainment $ envelope from our budget, and become more happy about hand-me-downs. But I don't want to be all self righteous about our decision to raise our family like this and totally trust God with the number of children He gives us. There have been many times that I wished I had that thing or more $ for entertainment or maybe a bigger car as I pack all three car seats in the back. Thank goodness there is grace for those moments. And gentle reminders of His blessings for obedience.

As my family grows, the number of rude comments, ugly stares, and unspoken disapprovals will increase. But the reward is worth it.

Quiet

 The house is very quiet. 65 minutes ago, my husband ran into our room to ask me if he could go to Sears to pick up some random tool. After I said "Yup!", he was off to beat the closing hours.

My two girls are gone. They are staying with their nanny in New York for a couple weeks. Oh how we miss them! Their little brother misses them so. I kept super super busy today to try to make up for the quietness. Even after doing all the laundry, mowing the yard, weeding the garden, canning 36 jars of applesauce, and upacking a weeks worth of stuff, I just can't ignore the fact that my sweet little cherished ones are gone. But I'm glad that they are spending time with their grandparents.

Tomorrow brings more stuff. Like more canning, and some visiting with a friend, and some cleaning. I just wish there will be two more little people to snuggle with.

It feels good!

I weighed in the other night. and the scale said "you are 35 pounds lighter than you were two weeks after Elliott was born! Congrats!!!".  I danced, I cheered for myself, I ran to my husband to tell him the news. It took me 7 months but I don't care. I did it with His and his help. and I would have to say that my kids also helped me a lot. I probably would have eaten a lot more in those 7 months if I didn't have three kids to feed, change, read books to, kiss boo boos, and all that stuff. I would like to loose 5 more and be more musclelly.

When the world says that having three kids in the time span of boom boom boom, is bad for your body, I would tell them that of course I is if you don't take care of yourself! But I can tell you that I feel better than I did before I got pregnant with my first.

My Life is Fun

You know, being home all day with my kids is really really fun. There are weeks that I think I could stay on my property forever; never coming out. People would start calling me "Melissa the Hermit". I don't remember my office days being this wonderful. I really don't.

This afternoon I whipped up a peach cake. It was a glorious time because I was looking at the recipe while being creative about making it tasty AND healthy. I hope my buffly man likes it.

I noticed that there was a random marigold plant growing happily near my compost. I have wanted to plant marigolds near my tomatoes for weeks but didn't want to spend the money on pregrown plants. This little gift lifted my spirits.

That's it for now. The cake is almost done and diapers need to be put on the line.

A Success!!

In an effort to be completely refined sugar free, I made a large batch of honey sweetened strawberry jam yesterday. I was a little scared to have a runny end product but I must say that it set very well and I will be making this jam every year!

The ingrients are as follows:

4 cups of mashed berries
1 cup honey
2 tsp Pomona's Universal Pectin
2 tsp calcium water (comes in pectin box)

I took these ingredients and multiplied them all by 6 and made my jam. You might be wondering how expensive it is to make honey sweetened jam. It was certainly an issue for me before I bought the stuff to make it. After making this batch, I did the cost analysis and determined that it costs roughly $1/cup of jam. Not bad. The jam tastes great, more fruity than the more sugary jam that I've made in the past.

When our peaches are ripe, I think I'll try a honey peach jam too!

Is Back

We are all back in Richmond. On our little we-like-to-imagine country homestead. Since we've been back:

*I bought a new sewing machine! SOOO excited to finally start the list of crafts and projects that have been piling up. I am also going to start making dolls and selling them on Etsy.

*trying to put this place back together again. The house looked like nobody had been living in it for awhile. Cobwebs, dust, mold, dirt. I am taking one day at a time. I am not superwoman. I have to admit, I was annoyed at my husband for leaving the five pieces of clothes on the line for 2.5 weeks while getting sun bleached and rained on.

*ran a 10k race. I ran it without stopping! Thanks to my marvelous family cheering me at least 6 times along the way. There were 900ish runners there. I was the 600th to finish.

*caught a cold from running in the rain and not getting enough sleep. Husband is nourishing me back to health with vitCs. He agreed to postpone our second round of p90X until I feel better.

*bought all supplies to make honey strawberry jam. I think I will attempt this tomorrow.

While most time was spent being a mom to my three dears.

Pesky Woodchucks - A Disaster

Caleb came home to Richmond yesterday. He was greeted with quite the surprise:

"Dear kids,
I just got home and look what I found!  The Woodchucks were not good like they promised. The have destroyed our living room.
I will catch them and make them stay outside."

" When I tried to catch them, they ran under the tv!  They smashed our tv!"

Caleb and I figured that this was a perfect opportunity to sell our tv (blaming the woodchucks for smashing it of course)  and use the $ to build a small chicken coop.

Still not home on the range

We're still Mass and it has been a great visit. We have seen many many neat historical things while we've been here and eaten at lots of tasty establishments. Yesterday we toured Newport, Rhode Island and saw the outside of the lavish Vanderbilt mansions. Emarie is convinced that they are castles. She can't wait to see the inside of them tomorrow and visit the queen (who has been preparing all day today for our visit).

I have a 10k race on Sunday. I have been running almost every other day while I've been here. But I'm not ready. If I get through in once piece, I'll be happy.

We come home to Richmond on Friday morning. I miss my home. My husband. My friends. God has been so good to me in my Richmond community.

Caleb comes home to Richmond this afternoon after being overseas. He is eager to see if the woodchucks ransacked our house while he was gone. I will keep everyone posted.

Pesky Woodchucks - Day 4

Episode 9:

 Episode 10:

"Dear  Emarie and Claire,
These are some of the naughtiest Woodchucks I have ever seen in my life! Look how naughty they are being."

 

 Episode 11:

"Dear Emarie,
The Woodchucks have ravaged your beautiful clothes.  I gave them a big speech about being careful with other peoples things.  I have to go across the ocean to a faraway land.  The Woodchucks have promised to be good so I left them all alone.  I'll  talk to you later.
Love,
Dad"

Pesky Woodchucks - Day 3

Episode 6:

Woodchuck drawing all over the walls

 

Episode 7:

"Dear  Emarie,
I am terribly sorry to say, but when I woke this morning, the woodchucks were making a nest in your pillow.  They ripped it to shreds."

 Episode 8:

"Dear Emarie,
The naughty Woodchuck made a terrible mess."

Pesky Woodchucks - Day 2

The woodchucks continue their mischievous ventures while Caleb updates us on his findings. 

Episode 3:

"Dear Emarie,
I sent Woodchucks out side because they were makings a big mess in your room.  Anyway, they got your kite and got it stuck in the tree."

Episode 4:

"Dear  Emarie and Claire,
I told those naughty Woodchucks to get the kite down from the tree.  They chewed through the string all afternoon."

 Episode 5:

"Dear kids,
The Woodchucks got your kite down."

 

 At the end of all this Emarie insisted that Caleb shoot these animals before they do more damage.

Pesky Woodchucks - Day 1

A pair of anxious woodchucks were waiting and waiting for Emarie and Claire to leave for Boston. As soon as we left, they have been getting into all sorts of mischief. Caleb has been emailing us updates on his findings. 

 Episode 1:
"Emarie, here is one of the wood chucks.  I snuck in your room and took a picture of him.  I'll  send some more pictures later if I can.
Love,
Dad"

This is an upside down picture of one of the woodchucks in Emarie's bunk bed.

Episode 2:

Woodchuck getting into the rainbow goldfish

To say that they are making Emarie quite upset, would be an understatement.

To be continued...

Far Away

A couple of days ago, I took all three kids on an airplane, alone, to Boston. You should have seen the crazy looks I got from both airport personnel and other passengers. "are you sure you don't have us to issue your husband a special pass so he can help you get to the airplane?" I was asked three times my three different people. I said it was fine, that I could do it alone. I mean, how hard could it be? I was just crossing my fingures that the baby and the middle child wouldn't have spontaneous explosions. That would be tricky. God heard my prayers. No needed diaper changes or random outbursts from any of my children. It was a breeze I tell you. When I got to Boston and told Caleb that we made it, he said "good, because the scanner people called security on me because I refused to move until I saw that you were safely through the line." I have a very thoughtful husband.

We are in Boston visiting my mom for a couple weeks. Caleb is home for the first week and then he also goes on his own trip. His trip is a lot farther than mine and not nearly as vacationish. He will be hard at work paying for all my frivolous spending.

I am dying (not physically but sometimes it feels that way too)

I ask myself today if I will someday see the fruit of my labor. I know that the bible says "yes". I know that Jesus encourages us to take up our plow and move forward. To die to ourselves daily and pick up our cross. He promises great eternal rewards and I need to believe that His promises are true. Today is a dying day.

Today:

Emarie has thrown several fits. One was about the shirt I laid out for her. One was about not having a particular spoon that she wanted in the sand box. One was over the lunch I made for her. She has thrown sand after I asked her not to, hit her little sister, and stole her little sister's "going pee on the potty" reward.

Claire has been crying and crying over everything, need I say more? We started potty training recently, so this morning I cleaned some poopy underwear, and a random poop on the floor.

Poor little buddy has another cold. So he's fussy.

I am living on His grace today. I am so hungry for it. I don't want my children to see me as a mom that tried to have it all together. I want them to see that I depend on the love and grace that my Lord freely gives. I want them to see that mommy desperately needs a savior but at the same time, showing them what His love looks like.

So I try to set my eyes on the prize and ask for faith to believe that this is not in vain. 

My friend came over this afternoon with her children. I needed her here today. What an encouragement friends are. She knows because we're in the same season of life. We laughed as I cleaned the poop off the floor. Being a mom of little ones isn't always glamorous. But did Jesus have a "glamorous" job when He came to save me?

What a Day!

On Thursday morning we were all getting ready to head out the door for the doctor. Elliott was going to have some shots. I needed to have the kids out the door by 9, no later. After I changed two diapers on two children, made sure the oldest child went to the bathroom, instructed two children to put on their shoes, nursed the baby, and packed lunches, I quickly ran to the bathroom to do my thing. Soon after, Emarie ran in, with tears streaming down her face, holding her thumb. There was a large splinter wedged all the way down to the base of her thumb. There was no way of getting it out. I piled all the kids in the car and went to the doctor, making an appointment for Emarie on the way. After Elliott got his shots, the doctor came in the look at her thumb. She was stumped. Off we went, to the ER. Thank goodness I have a friend that agreed to change all her plans for the day and watch Elliott and Claire while I took Emarie to get her thumb fixed.

So to make a long story short, we sat in the ER for hours. When the ER doctor looked at her injury, he was stumped too. After calling a hand surgeon to get some advice, he said that her thumbnail would need to be removed to get the wood out. After some pricks, tears, cuts, and a few stitches later, we were on our way home.

Tomorrow we see a specialist to make sure her finger will return to it's original form.

My LIttle Guy

My little man is coming up on his 6 month mark. It just amazes me how time flies so fast! Let me just say that having a son rocks my world (totally not saying that having two daughters doesn't rock my world either!).

I love being his mom.

So many people ask us if we're done (having children), now that we have our boy and all. Honestly, I'm not keen on planning the number of children I have based on gender. I'm sure glad my parents didn't do that, otherwise I wouldn't have two awesome sisters. We tell people that we're just getting warmed up! You can imagine the looks we get.

Scooter

In case you didn't know, we have a scooter. Or I should probably say that my husband has a scooter. He drives it to work almost everyday. It saves us over $100/month in gas and it greatly improves his mood because it gives him a more enjoyable ride home to ponder life. We gave Emarie her very own scooter helmet for Christmas:

 

 She now goes on scooter outings with her dad. He is going to take her to a baseball game tomorrow night where she can enjoy popcorn and alone time with her dad. 

I especially like driving the scooter around our backyard.

I am not quite ready for major trips myself.

A Love Story - Part 9, a very transparent post

The test was positive. I was shocked, scared, unprepared, and you name it. Caleb and I planned to wait two years before "trying" to get pregnant. We wanted to pay off all college debt, have a down payment on a house, and be more established in my career.  I never dreamed that I would be pregnant after four short months of being married. I knew that God's plans were larger than mine but I didn't feel like that then. I was scared to tell certain family members. They would not approve of this. We told them, they had their reactions and their words. There were many people and family that were happy with this news but I wanted everyone's approval. What a hard thing to get. I am being honest and transparent when I tell you that my first pregnancy was hard emotionally. I felt like I wasn't in control and stuck. Like there was nothing I could do but surrender. Caleb and I stuck by each other. We were the only friends we had for awhile. Then the hardest trial in our marriage to this date happened.

Caleb was 110% certain that we were going to have a boy. I was not. I decided to learn what the baby's gender was at 20 weeks pregnant to avoid a potential shock after the baby was born. When the ultrasound lady said "girl" my heart raced, looking for Caleb's reaction. He didn't have one, and that's what I was afraid of. He didn't want to be picked up from work that day. "I want to walk home." Seven miles home. When he didn't come home, I went out looking for him. When I came back to our apartment after searching, there he was, in the dark, sitting under a tree. He barely talked and then when I confronted him, he said that he never wanted girls. He said that the son he thought he had was dead and that he had to deal with that and somehow have love for his daughter. I was devastated. I have never cried so much in my life. I could hardly get through a work day in one piece. I was so confused! How could my husband not love his baby just because it was a girl?? Didn't he see how much this hurt me? I saw no change for awhile. I prayed that Jesus would change his heart, I wept at His feet, and He came. He came in a big way and changed my husband's heart. And Caleb asked for forgiveness and fell in love with his first daughter. We named her Emarie (meaning universally loved).

Emarie is the reason I started writing these love stories. A few weeks ago, God spoke to me so clearly. As I was looking at her He whispered "aren't you glad I didn't wait on you?" If God waited for me to have my career in line, to have more money, to "be more established in [my] marriage" then this precious treasure would not be here! I also thought about my marriage. If God waited until I thought I was ready to be married then Caleb wouldn't be my man. God knows. He really does folks. Surrender your life to Him and see the magical things that He will do with it.

A Love Story - Part 8

We honeymooned in Prince Edward Island, Canada. Another testimony of God's wonderfulness. Caleb wanted to plan and pay for our entire honeymoon, making it a complete joyeous surprise to me. He planned on having our first romantic gettaway to the place that I always wanted to go since I was a child. He never knew that. But God sure did! Let me just say that I think everyone should see this magical place. Where the shoreline is red and the grass is a wonderful green. We stayed in the most fancy places. Where fresh cookies are baked every 10 min down in the check in area and fireplaces and hot tubes are in the rooms. We slept in until 9:30 (or even longer) most days (which is NOT like us, but we were just married for crying out loud! ;-) ) just making it to brunch in the mornings. We mostly just walked and talked and walked some more. It was just magical, the whole thing.

When the honeymoon was over, we drove back to Vermont so that I could fetch my things before going back to Clarkson for our very last semester. We were excited to be a married couple in school together. It was a great season. We had our own appartment about a mile from campus. We rode our bikes to class every morning and did our homework together every evening. I would like to say that we were a total encouragement to eachother in our studies but that would be a lie.  It sure was distracting at times but we got through it. Some of our friends were miffed because they hardly saw us in the same old college friend groups anymore. But we were newlyweds, trying to just be newlyweds and living like newlyweds.

As graduation came, we had many job interviews. I was looking for a job in water engineering and he wanted a job in geotechnical engineering. I had offers in New York. Caleb had an offer in Richmond, Virginia. We decided to go to Richmond, and then I would try to find a job there. When I notified my favorite offer in NY about our decision, they said that they also had an office in Richmond and offered me a job there too. Three miles from Caleb's office. So in January, 2008 we moved and started our jobs.

And then God surprised us and through our plans out the door...

To be continued...

A Love Story - Part 7

The wedding plans started. We were engaged at the end of March and we set a wedding date for August 10th of that summer. Our dream was to have a barn dance wedding. My grandma is friends with a man that has a beautiful barn overlooking the lake. We were incredibly blessed to have our wedding there. We saw each other a handful of times that summer. We would alternate, me going to NY to see him and he coming to VT to see me. It was such an exciting time of anticipation.

We would email each other throughout the day from our cubicles, planning our wedding and giving each other tidbits of our days. Back then, just holding his hand was a rush and that was the extend of our physical contact. It sounds so twidderpattedish and rather head-in-the-clouds, and maybe over the top for most but I wouldn't trade it for the world.  We planned to kiss for the first time as a married couple and that's what we did. Our first kiss pose was planned and practiced (him sweeping me over his knee while I put one leg in the air pose).  The only thing missing were fireworks blasting in the background.

Our wedding was simple but perfect. My mom made me a glorious dress and planted hundreds of sunflowers for the event. She also bought some purple flowers and put them in old sugar sap buckets to decorate. I made many apple pies with her (in place of a wedding cake) to feed the crowd. Our families helped so much. After the ceremony, we danced to the fiddle and the band, greeted many familiar faces, and took off on our honeymoon that Caleb saved for and planned all summer.

To be continued...

A Love Story - Part 6

We drove to the Green Mountains with our friend Andrew (one of our college buddies). It was a perfect spring skiing sort of day. Sun shining and beautiful white powder covering the trails. At Sugarbush Ski resort, there are two large mountains connected with a long 25 min chair lift. I think this is why I love Sugarbush so much. Riding that lift from mountaintop to mountaintop while gazing upon the views is just glorious. I think this is why Caleb took me here. As we got into our skiing day, I lost track of time. That chair lift closed before we could get back to the first mountain where we started. No biggy I thought, we'll just take the bus back to the other mountain. That's what we did. Caleb was really hoping that we'd have time to ski some more when we got off the bus. But when we got back, the first mountain was closed. Oh well. Yeah, it stunk, especailly being the kind of skier that bombs the mountain to cram as many runs in before the lift closes, but I wasn't too disappointed because we did have really great day.

We got in Andrew's car and headed back down the mountains. Caleb was driving. All of a sudden, he stopped the car at on overlook. I didn't think anything of it because I was so stoked to see the view. I ran out of the car to the guardrails. When I was finished looking, I turned around. And there he was folks. On his knee. I don't even remember hearing "Will you marry me?" but I saw the ring. Shocked, surprised, heart raising, were some of the feelings pulsating through my body. I walked a few steps away from him (can you imagine being him? Poor guy was nervous enough and then I go walking away after he asks to marry me). But I quickly came back and said "no" to ease his nerves....oh just kidding guys! Of course I said "YES!" and we embraced and all that. It was great.

On the way back to Clarkson that day, Andrew played every lame love song on his ipod.

Caleb's original plan was to propose on that chair lift but I ruined it. And then he wanted to stage a fall and while I stopped to see if he was alright, he was going to propose. But I never let him get far enough ahead of me all day. He pulled through though!

And then the wedding plans began!

To be continued...

A Love Story - Part 5

I probably saw Caleb four times that summer. In between, I worked, ran a lot, and prayed that it would be really clear if this was meant to be. I would need God to change my heart and heal me from witnessing an unhealthy marriage and divorce growing up. Years earlier, I made a vow to myself that I would never marry or have kids (even though it was a desire. I think God puts that desire in us) based on the pain I had (I love my parents and forgave everything in the past. I don't hold onto it). That summer, the vow was broken. It was crucial if I wanted to move on and walk in His path. Looking back, now I see how perfect God's timing was. One morning that summer God used a pastor to speak into my life and verify that it was ok to look at Caleb as a potential husband. So I lived my single life five hours from him, and let him pursue me as he saw fit.

We were apart for awhile because I had that long internship that lasted through the next fall semester and he went back to Clarkson. He was really involved in church and leading bible studies not to mention that it was his senior year in engineering. Even though I love being married to him, I am so glad we had that time of singleness before we got married. It is a season that we'll never have again.

I went back to Clarkson in January to complete my last two semesters. I started getting counsel from a glorious woman of God while Caleb received discipleship from her husband. Spring break came quickly. We parted our ways for the week and then came back to Clarkson a little early to see each other and see friends before classes started. Caleb insisted that we go back to Vermont to go skiing for the day before classes start. What? I just came from Vermont! But you only live once right? So off we went, to hit the slopes.

To be continued...

A Love Story - Part 4

I remember arranging a meeting with Caleb after he told me about his feelings. I took my good friend with me as a support. I really wanted to make sure that we could still be friends without putting up fronts. During this meeting, my friend told Caleb (rightfully so! She was looking out for me!) that he was telling me too much about his feelings.

"you mean I can't tell Melissa that I love her?"-Caleb
"that's exactly what I mean!"-Friend

(Caleb told me a few weeks ago that this same wonderful pal invited him over to bake cookies or something, only to inform him that if he hurt me, then she would kill him. Now those kind of friends are hard to come by!)

Even after this meeting, that spring semester was different for Caleb and I. I became distant from him. The wall around my heart grew higher and stronger. When the end of the semester was completed, I couldn't wait to run away from school, and start my job. My heart was so confused. I liked him so much as a friend but thinking about something more? I needed real proof. That summer gave me the opportunity to be alone and really seek God and listen to His calling.

In the middle of the summer, I made the drive to Caleb's house in New York to meet his family. What a clan! There a a few things I remember about this visit:
1)tromping through the swamp while having mud fights and meeting up with two HUGE snakes.
2)helping out at someone's wedding. When the music started, all the Lange kids and their spouses dancing crazy in the center of the crowd. This was a taste of this rambunctious clan. 
3)meeting Caleb's older sister. She was their leader and she scared me (but we do have a very good relationship now mind you, probably because I passed the test)

That was the first of many visits.

To be continued...

A Love Story - Part 3

We all came back to Clarkson after Christmas break, ready to start a new semester in the subzero degree temperatures. That first Sunday of the new semester was an interesting one that was quite unexpected (to say the least!). After church, a guy from our college ministry group approached me, asking if it was alright if we met later that day. I agreed to meet at the Clarkson hockey rink/student center. The conversation started like this:

him: "So I met with your dad"
me: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! (all in my head of course)
him: "and I asked him if it was alright if I courted you. I think you are going to be my wife someday..."
me: "uhhh...can you give me a few days to think and pray about this? I really don't know what to say."

So that was a Sunday night. I had no idea what to think or do. I had no interest in being a wife anytime soon (or ever for that matter). But I didn't want to completely discredit things based on my own fears. When I saw Caleb on Monday morning, he knew something was up. I told him everything. "So, what should I do!?" but he didn't have an answer. I don't remember him saying anything at all. 

I was supposed to meet the future-husband-guy on Wednesday to tell him what I felt God was saying. Wednesday came fast. I still didn't know what I was going to say to him. I decided to go running (even though it was -10 degrees). As I was running back to my dorm, I saw Caleb in a parking lot. He was the only human around due to the frigid weather. When I saw him, he looked terrible. When I asked him what was wrong, he asked me what I was going to tell this other guy.

me: "I'm going to tell him that I only want to be friends."
Caleb: "Ok, well I haven't slept because I really like you too."

More was said but I won't go into the specifics. I was shocked. At this point in my life, I didn't want a relationship. Marriage was a very scary thing. So I ran. Not just away from Caleb that afternoon, but for the next semester too. I found a co-op (a long internship) in Vermont and planned to work away from Clarkson and the guys that thought I'd make a good wife. But you can never run from God and He certainly made His path clear while I was running away.

To be continued...

A Love Story - Part 2

I became really good friends with this crazy man. And crazy he sure was back then (well, he still is. Only he's better at staying professional to all of you   ). Picture him driving all over town screeching his tires at every turn, him snatching pocket books from poor old ladies (I mean from friends) as they wonder to class, performing harvest party skits to all the church children without hesitation as they all laugh with glee. Caleb stood out in our group friends. I remember talking to my roommates, wondering what kind of crazy woman would marry this guy. Our time together that semester was mostly over strength of materials or fluid dynamics homework. Outside of that, we were individually involved with our church family.

In December, I got a group of friends together, Caleb included, for a ski trip to my house in Vermont. We bombed the trails together.  Caleb whizzing by me on his snowboard, and then me whizzing by him on my skis. This is when Caleb started getting ideas about "us" being more than friends.

That first semester of knowing Caleb was such a gift. We both were free to just be friends without the idea of us being more then that in the back of our minds. It gave me the freedom to be me. There were no fronts. I am so thankful for that time.

The next semester started out with a VERY interesting turn of events...

To be continued...

A Love Story - Part 1

It was the end of August, 2005 and the first day of classes as a junior at Clarkson University. I was excited to start my school year off with a set of new classes and admittedly, I was also eager to forget the end of my sophmore year and just start again with a clean slate. I remember that morning like it was yesterday. Strength of Materials was my first class, starting at 9:00am. I walked into the classroom at 8:40, thinking that I would be the only soul there, but I was surprised to be the third overly anxious student. I recognized a fellow hockey player in the front so I moseyed in her direction. On my way, I passed the other person. He looked up at me with his big blue eyes. "Who on earth is that?" I wondered.

Later in the day he walked right up to me while I was standing behind a tract table. "You love Jesus too?!" was the very first thing he said to me. I later learned that his name was Caleb and that he just transferred in. I also learned that he was in 4 out of 5 of my classes. We soon became study buds.

To be Continued...